Five reasons your horse is the only Valentine you’ll need

Feeling blue, downcast or just downright indifferent about the big day? Fret not, the perfect Valentine’s is close at hand – all it takes is a trip to the yard

Ah, St. Valentine. He comes down from his celestial plane with Cupid in tow just once a year to taunt us all with Instagram feeds full of flowers, engagements and ‘boy done good’s.

For horse people, Valentine’s Day isn’t always much to write home about. 14 February is still very much in winter territory and your horse’s routine can’t take a hit, so while others might be enjoying a lie in with their honey and eating chocolate-smothered strawberries for breakfast, you’ll be providing feed and clean bedding to your four-legged favourite. It’s a tough life, but you chose it. And with good reason – we all know that there’s no greater love than that between a horse and his person. Here are five reasons why he’s the only one for you.

1. No gourmet cooking required

Relieve the pressure of either purchasing or producing a three-course meal that would give Gordon Ramsay a day off from exploding into habitual expletives – your horse will show you more gratitude for his everyday ration than any romantic partner would about your home cooking efforts. Throw an apple slice into the mix and your equine friend will worship the ground you walk on. Talk about easily pleased…

2. Dressing down is a non-issue

In the normal world, Valentine’s Day often entails putting together an outfit and makeup look that’ll… showcase your wares, so to speak. In the horse world you can sod the little black dress, because your horse will find you just as irresistible in overalls and with a barnet full of hay. Whether or not your pockets are carrot-less, he’ll still be happy to see you.

3. Cute couple pics with no pushback

If you are in the mood for dressing up, your horse is the perfect victim. He can’t reject your pleas for a quick shoot for the ‘gram, and he’ll be more than happy to co-ordinate his outfit with yours for the ultimate matchy-matchy selfie.

4. No-frills funday

There are very low expectations on your horse’s part – a hack around his preferred route, scratches in his favourite spot and a whopping haynet to top it all off is his idea of a perfect day – and it probably ticks all your boxes, too! It’s true that time with your horse is always well spent and he’ll never disagree with your plans. And if he does? A polo should change his attitude.

5. You can’t beat pony cuddles

Who needs expensive scents and a romantic setting when you can have a stable and a face full of the greatest smell in the world – the one you can only find in the coat of your most favourite equine. There’s no finer feeling than catching your horse in one of his snoozy half hours and spending it with your arms wrapped firmly around his neck. It’s the definition of pure bliss and there’s nothing else quite like it in the world.