The 10 stages every rider goes through while horse shopping

Are there any suitable horses in the Northern Hemisphere? Can you remember how to rise to the trot? What about the vetting?! Yep – horse shopping is a real emotional rollercoaster

Horse shopping: an activity that is – without any exaggeration – approximately ten-thousand-times better on paper than it is in practice. Whether you’ve never bought a horse before, or you’ve blocked out all memories of your last purchase, you’re in for a tumultuous time.

Here’s a recap of every emotion you can expect to feel. Any others to add to our list? Let us know!

1. Excitement

So! Many! Horses! Everywhere you look there’s a perfect candidate. Scrolling on Facebook, reading your favourite mag, talking to your instructor… It seems there’s no shortage of horses within your budget…

2. Despair

…Until you realise, there’s absolutely none. Anywhere. In a textbook example of Murphy’s Law, as soon as you seriously start horse shopping, your search results throw up nothing but tumbleweeds.

3. Worry

Oh no, not about viewings or vettings. No, you start to feel a growing worry about the world’s reading ability. You posted an advert searching for a 15.2–16.1hh gelding, aged 7–10, based in the south-west of England… And the responses range from year-old fillies (with potential), to a rides-bigger-than-he-looks 13.2, to a 15-year-old schoolmaster in Scotland. You think it’s very kind that everyone and their gran has an opinion on your must-have requirements – but would they very kindly keep those thoughts to themselves?

4. Anxiety

The day has finally arrived: the viewing. After trawling through every horsey group on Facebook and refreshing different websites every 30 minutes, you’ve found The (Possible) One. From the second you confirm the viewing, the anxiety kicks in. Will someone buy him unseen first? Will the seller change their mind? Can you remember how to ride? On the drive there, you find yourself double-checking trot diagonals, just in case.

5. Joy

Sheer, unadulterated joy. After the endless WhatsApps and videos, the series of mini heartbreaks as horses sell before you see them, all the pre-viewing nerves… It’s all worth it, as soon you’re in the saddle. You walk, trot and canter around – and know instantly that he’s The One. Your cheeks hurt from grinning, and when you can’t face another 20-metre circle, you reluctantly slide off.

6. Annoyance

Oh no, this one isn’t for you. Instead, this is your poor friend/other half/instructor who came with you – and now has to put up with your endless isn’t-he-great ramblings the whole way home. Only joking – they’re just relieved this could be the end of the “Do you like this one?” messages.

7. Impatience

You’ve organised the vetting and found a stable – and now you’ve got to wait. The hours drag by in the same way that Christmas Eve did when you were a child. And when vetting day does arrive, you’ve already diagnosed your potential purchase with every ailment from colic to navicular, so you know with complete certainty he’s going to fail.

8. Relief

He passed and he’s coming home. The poor vet might have sore ears for a few hours though, thanks to the volume at which you screeched “REALLY? THANKS!”. Now there’s just the mad scramble to get transport sorted, wardrobes bought, and Instagram posts posted.

9. Doubt

Ah yes, the time between vetting and arrival: affectionately known as the What-Have-I-Done stage. No horse is perfect, yet how have you managed to get this stage with all evidence suggesting this one just might be? Every single what if will run through your mind – until the moment he steps hoof on the yard.

10. Happiness

He’s home, and there’s nothing like it, is there? A new face over the stable door, a new partnership to build, a new best friend to love.