Nine things every owner wishes they could tell their horse

Whether it’s asking where a shoe might be or reassuring them a new supplement isn’t poisonous – there sure are a few things we’d love to speak to our equine pals about!

One of the most humbling, awe-inspiring and downright incredible things about equestrianism is the way we can communicate with our horses without using a single word. When it’s going right, it feels like more than magic: two hearts, two beings, working together in perfect harmony.

However, you’d be lying if you didn’t admit there are some scenarios that would be made a whole lot easier if you could just have a quick chat…

“I’m pretty broke this month.”

You can almost guarantee that the month your car fails its MOT is the month your horse racks up some seriously expensive bills. If you could ask him to keep on all four shoes, or refrain from trying out any snazzy new moves in the field for the time being – that’d be grand.

“It won’t kill you, it’s only a [insert as applicable].”

There’s no need for the amateur dramatics every time a few traffic cones appear outside the yard or the daffodils pop up along the verges. Going out hacking or heading to new venues would be much easier if you could telepathically reassure your horse that not everything is out to get him.

“It’ll make you feel better, promise.”

Wormer, bute, antibiotics, a new supplement… The whole process would be far less stressful if you could promise your horse that it’s going to make him feel better – accompanied by a 100% guarantee that no, you’re not adding poison to his feed.

“Please, please don’t roll.”

It’s show day tomorrow and your alarm’s set for an hour you should only see once a day. If you reduce the risk of poo stains and just turn him out the night before with this plea, maybe you could nab an extra hour in bed…

“I’m on a really tight schedule tomorrow…”

Which means absolutely zero funny business. No hysterics walking to the field, no forgetting how to canter on the right rein during a pre-work schooling session, and no sloppy, post-feed kisses after you’ve changed out of yard clothes. (Ok, fine. You’ll never say no to the kisses. No matter how stained that nice top gets…).

“Where’s your shoe?”

So maybe you enjoyed reading Where’s Wally? as a kid, but that doesn’t mean you want to experience it on a regular basis. Especially now it’s way more expensive and way more frustrating. Maybe if you had a quiet word, you could spend more time riding and less time scouring every square inch of grass in your horse’s 10-acre field.

“There aren’t any monsters hiding in that ditch.”

And we jumped it last week with zero problems. Is it the fact we’re at a show and leading after the dressage?

“What’s hurting?”

Of all the things we wish we could ask – this has to be at the top of the list. When you’re facing a mystery lameness or something just doesn’t feel right, asking your horse what hurts would be miraculous.

“You’re my best mate – you know that right?”

You hope your horse knows just how much he means to you… But you wouldn’t mind telling him directly, either.

On the other hand, sometimes we’re glad our horses can’t hear all the conversations we have with ourselves! What else would you say to your horse? Let us know!