7 signs your horse wears the trousers in your relationship
- Your dinner consists of rather suspect offerings from the reduced aisle of the supermarket, yet your horse (otherwise known as His Royal Highness) is gleefully tucking into premium brand feed sprinkled with eye-wateringly expensive supplements and organic carrots.
- Your jacket stopped being waterproof long ago, your riding boots have a hole in them and you’re pretty sure that at some point your breeches was a colour other than grimy grey-brown. However, His Royal Highness is parading around the field in another new turnout rug, already plotting new and novel ways to have it completely trashed in two weeks flat.
- You’ve taken the day off work, spent hours cleaning every inch of your tack and persuaded your friend to let you borrow her lorry, but His Royal Highness has decided he’d prefer a duvet day and refuses to load. You finally bribe him on-board, arrive just in the nick of time to compete in your class, then have to go through the same thing all over again when he decides he’s having too much fun to go home.
- The other liveries are well accustomed to diving out of the way as His Royal Highness tows you around the yard, down to the field or in the direction of an unattended feed bucket.
- Your other half is practically begging for a tropical holiday, but unfortunately all your annual leave has already been used up pandering to the needs of His Royal Highness. Because why would anybody want to drink cocktails on the beach when they could be standing in the rain waiting for the farrier?
- Pampered prince that he is, His Royal Highness is treated to regular massages, physio appointments and sessions with his therapy rug. You, on the other hand, have been meaning to have that niggle in your back looked at for at least the past 18 months but somehow have never found the time.
- Come rain, shine, sleet or pitch darkness, you’re always down the yard, making sure that His Royal Highness is kept in the luxurious manner to which he’s become accustomed. Your house, on the other hand, looks rather like a bomb has hit it.